When it comes to maintaining a healthy, happy, and successful relationship, it pretty much always boils down to communication—and a wise (and incredibly funny) comedian once told me, “Communication in a relationship is only as good as the worst communicator.” Let that one sit for a minute.
You might be the best communicator in the world, with nonstop dedication to personal growth and development, but if your partner has poor communication and is not doing the work too, your relationship is likely destined for much more difficult and uncomfortable obstacles.
The thing about obstacles in relationships is that they are completely normal (and even necessary), but what is crucial in differentiating the success of your relationship is how you handle those obstacles when they come up. There are so many important milestones and elements that go into a successful relationship, and they all involve communication. Whether you are communicating about your future together, your personal career ambitions, your vision for your family, your finances, or your sex life, the key is to become comfortable with being open, honest, and clear with your partner about how you feel and what you want.
In a recent conversation with a friend of mine, behavioral therapist, dating coach, director of a well known televion show on OWN, and author of several books explained that while some couples “decide their way through relationship milestones,” others “slide through relationship milestones.” This essentially means that some couples are intentional about making decisions in their relationship. They talk about where they see the relationship going, whether that means becoming exclusive, defining the relationship, moving in together, or so on. They have clear conversations and make these decisions together. The other couples seem to ride more of a relationship roller coaster where they take no control or accountability over where they are heading.
Mr. and Mrs. Troy did things a little differently. This is how the silver lining kept them together for so many years. The example they gave me was not moving in together because your lease is up and you spend all your time together anyway versus having an intentional conversation about moving in together. Can you guess which couples have healthier relationships? “Research shows that couples that decide their way through these moments are happier, more successful, have better sex, and are really just in healthier relationships,” they simply said clarity, accountability and communication kept them STRONG for them. I didn't want our conversation to end, but I had to go home. Lol lol
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