...OR DO YOU NEVER CHANGE – NO MATTER WHAT?
I posed these questions to a few people whose opinions I respect and admire just to see where the general stance is on the topic. Throughout life, I’ve heard people say, “You change like the weather”, and have a negative connotation to go with it. I have also heard some say, “I don’t ever change – no matter what!”, and they intend on being a positive attribute to the world.
The conversations vary widely based on an individual’s view on change and what it means from their perspective. For some, the statement "changing like the weather" DID mean that a person who does this is flaky or unreliable. To them, it meant that they couldn’t depend on someone who changed frequently. The only thing that could be relied on from that person – is that you can’t rely on them for anything at all.
There is a flip side of that coin. Some believe that changing like the weather is a behavior that indicates a person is agile and adaptable; a person who changes so easily can also be viewed as suave and/or smooth. One who can change like the weather could be perceived as one who “goes with the flow” and has a light and easy-going demeanor.
To change the dynamic a little, people who say they never change no matter what. Are they saying that they are stable, trustworthy and have grit? Then there are those who never change and claim they are “real” and don’t “fake the funk”. Are they saying they are straight shooters from the hip and folks who know them personally respect their never-changering history. There is a flip side to this; people who never change are said to be stubborn or unreasonable. If you never change, you never grow and stay stagnant – according to some.
So, on which side of which coin do you stand? Change never? Forever changing? Well… it’s a bit of both – both coins and both sides of each coin matter. And while it may seem unfortunate to some and not such a mishap to others, the fact is whether we want to acknowledge it or not, we all change.
I asked men and women of varying ages, stages and walks of life about change and how they view it. Overall, these were the most interesting of conversations. In fact, thoughts and theories on the very topic had been “subject to change” amid a few of my talks. I have found that within those point of views there was one constant. Most people - are done with the process - are changing and maturing as adults in both their character and identity. Once they mature they are pretty much stable and well-rounded.
That doesn’t change – much.
Stability, and understanding that we may have to change how we conduct ourselves to adjust to our surroundings. This is primarily based on the people, places, and things we encounter daily. Realistically, we’re not speaking to our grandma the same way we speak to our friends, right? I wear many hats as a mother, daughter, fiancée, friend, clergy, colleague; and the list continues. Those roles and responsibilities differ in many ways.
There’s only ONE ME!!
We may have to change our approach while dealing with variety of people we encounter daily. It is not because of who WE are; it is because of who WE encounter. We deal with people accordingly based on maturity. Mature enough to know that we must grow. That doesn't mean matching the way people treat us
i.e.: he is “giving shade”, so I give back the same energy.
It just means that when we encounter a shady person, we may need to provide Sun. If someone is sad, a dose of joy may be the best remedy. If not to change their mood, to guard and protect ourselves. Adopting a person's negative energy can sneak in and we can prevent this from happening.
Today we are proud of our growth, and still have room to advance into a greater version of ourselves.
Every day we are gifted to see.
I have matured enough to welcome the growth of change - even though it can be uncomfortable. But my character will always remain the same. The only thing that may change is the way I interact with the world around me.
Change like the weather? Never change, ever? Yea or nah? You decide. But keep in mind – you may change your mind.
“THE ONLY CONSTANT IN LIFE IS CHANGE”
-HERACLITUS
About the Author
PR Now Writer Robin Holmes wrote
"Journals: Essence’s Encouragement" Chapter Series
She loved the written word so much; she was deemed a “nerd” by her peers. In the 5th grade, her work was published locally. Her love for writing evolved with poems, rhyming words to lyrics, and original + popular songs.
Although, life forced her to put it on the back burner for some time. She never lost her love for the craft. A single mom at 21 years old, she continued to do the work that was necessary to enforce positive change in her and her daughter's life. After moving Upstate, NY in 2002 she began a new chapter in her life. It was a pivot that changed her.
READ THE SERIES TODAY
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