Amid everything happening these days, it is easy to be overwhelmed by the events and circumstances that take place in this phase of life. The world can stir up confusion and relentlessly mistreat human beings. What is worse is when some do not have the proper support system and village to aid them with the trials and tribulations that they may meet.
I have not just witnessed but I have experienced turbulence without a “life preserver” to aid in balance in my own life. As a result, I have decided to create a means of sharing “the load.” Hopefully, this will help someone else unload unwanted baggage in their lives. I am not proclaiming to be a Guru on ways to live life painlessly nor do I hold secrets of ways to experience life without hiccups?
Quite frankly, that is impractical and naive. I am far from cynical – just straightforward.
I do, however, offer my life experiences to anyone who needs it. We have a choice with what we allow to affect our well-being. There is no secret recipe for a splendid life. There are some tools and methods that we can use to manage whatever discomfort we are faced with. We all have choices with how we respond and “allow” things to affect us. If we are unaware of the most important strategies, everything that we face in life will either be within our control or beyond it. It is that simple.
Once that is accepted things will be much easier to understand. A key example of this sadly happens when someone dies. When losing loved ones, or someone close to us, can be a heavy burden, especially during a pandemic. But death, even for that reason, is something we obviously cannot control.
Am I saying that we should just get over it because we have no power? Absolutely not! Suffering a loss and handling grief are never things we can just get over. It affects each of us very differently and is supervised in a variety of ways. It is never something anyone can just get over. I am merely using this example as a means of identifying life’s cycle rather than fighting the inevitable.
This is no comparison to missing the bus when you are on your way to work. In conclusion, this cannot be solved easily, it must be self-approved that if you call in late, wait for the next bus. Or if you have the means to take a taxi, you will have a better chance of arriving to work on time. Either way, it is a situation we can do something about. The key is knowing the difference.
A valuable skill we need to improve is deciding what instances are beyond our control. The test is accepting that they will be what they will be. Oftentimes, Letting go means finally accepting what you will not be able to change. It is a concept that we can grapple with as humans – especially when we fight to stay in control of our own lives. We tend to gain a sense of pride in our successes while we struggle to maintain control.
So, when we are forced to give up control it can be a challenge. We feel as Though we’ve mastered it. But when things are beyond our ability to navigate In life, admitting that someone else may be right is hard to overcome. How do we process those feelings? One word. Acceptance.
I realized that becoming aware of anything, helps us all to reflect on how we landed here in the first place. Consider what you have mastered in your life. Then recall what you have not mastered. I remember how hard it was for me but quite a revelation. I had to accept what it meant to let go. It was even more of a challenge to be okay with it. But the greatest impression was how it facilitated a plan for to me receive the lesson with grace. The idea that it was normal to not have it all together all the time was breath of fresh air.
And MAN! What a relief that it was for me!
So, I encourage anyone who took the time to read this article to ease up on the urge to have it all. By letting go of some things and accepting that it just IS. Do not worry if it is not as easy as you thought, accept wherever you presently are in YOUR process. Celebrate the struggles because practice will improve your craft and your LIFE. After all, nobody is perfect. If you can accept that, then you are already on the right track. Now just look forward to your train’s destination.
Remember this:
God, grant me the SERENITY to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things that I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference.
About the author
A native of Brooklyn, New York, Robin Holmes began writing creatively at the age of eight. She loved the written word so much; she was deemed a “nerd” by her peers. In the 5th grade, her work was published locally. Her love for writing evolved with poems, rhyming words to lyrics, and original + popular songs.
Although, life forced her to put it on the back burner for some time. She never lost her love for the craft. A single mom at 21 years old, she continued to do the work that was necessary to enforce positive change in her and her daughter's life. After moving Upstate, NY in 2002 she began a new chapter in her life. It was a pivot that changed her.
She had a child, worked with children,
and that introduced her to another passion. Educating prompted her to further HER education. So, she returned to Brooklyn in 2008. After losing her dad in 2010, she later gave birth to her son in 2013. Ms Holmes received her Bachelor of Social Sciences degree in 2017. This helped her rediscover her passion for writing after successfully completing this milestone.
Sadly, after losing a coworker Virginia Monger, coauthor of Nia’s Sick Sense, a series of works were born. She wrote more about adolescents. And because she watched the process of Nia’s creation, and losing someone so dear to her tragically it sparked her passion and drive for her to…
“Get back out there."
The pseudonym “Essence” is a name given to Ms. Holmes by yet another loved one that she lost. She uses it in honor of herself and how much she meant to her.
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Good job.